Surviving Myself

For the almost crazy low price of $39.99, you too can own a full-scale replica of a toddler’s corpse! For … for all kinds of totally legitimate reasons! And not one of them being “practice”! Ha ha, not if the cops ask, anyway!

If you can’t fully appreciate the scale of this depravity, know that it is truly a fault of scale: This thing was three-feet-tall, looked like it weighed 30 pounds and was genuinely meant to somehow replace a baby. Whether that’s because yours has died, and you’re so empty inside that you no longer care if the thing that takes its place even remotely resembles something living, or because your hatred of children is only matched by your fear of jail time, and you just need some way to take out that fury without bringing your brass knuckles to the playground again. Or maybe it’s just because you have recently stolen a child and only need something to occupy their space in bed until morning, when you’ll be too far gone to stop — well then, this is the doll for you! But wait, there’s more! Take another look at that picture up there. See the feet? They’re dirty. Just the fucking feet. As though it was recently walking. Horror is in the details, and you simply cannot get more terror for your dollar than those tiny, dirty feet.

But don’t act now! Because what’s this directly across the aisle?

(via Secondhand Nightmares: 10 Horrifying Thrift Store Finds | Cracked.com)