December 2008
121 posts
no problems with other, crappier themes. just that one.
wishlist 09 →
I want the next president to be at least half as good we all hope he’ll be. I want to become Southern. I want someone to explain to me the economy in a way that doesn’t make me curl up in the…
The Upside
davidkaneda:
Most importantly, 2009 will mark the end of tacky, plastic NYE party glasses. Except for pirates, I suppose.
1 tag
why I get nothing done in life
me: please recall I have text books languishing at sju bookstore for you today. I will trade you half an army of evil penguins if you can retrieve them.
Kathryn: HALF??? I think I should get 2/3'S
me: For picking up textbooks? No Way. You're lucky i'm not just giving you 10% of my evil penguin army. but I thought, now what the hell will she do with 10% of an evil penguin army?
Kathryn: How important is ur education to you?
me: almost as important as maintaining forces of evil penguins in south east asia.
Kathryn: Besides my share of the evil penguin army will go forth and procreate, therefore giving us a larger share of the market
me: what? do you think my share is homosexual?
Kathryn: so if you give me 2/3 i will double that in 90 days, and double that again in six months....you will have amassed the largest evil penguin army in history
me: no I won't. I will have amassed an equal evil penguin army to yours!
Kathryn: i'll be spreading evil penguin love to parts of the world that before now had never seen such evilness me: also what's the split on the penguin fetuses? because normally the owner of the penguin owns it's spawn.
Kathryn: i'll give you a 60/40 split on spawn (u get 60%) (spawn is unreliable and must be trained) ok ok ok 70/30
me: that's it. you know what? no penguins for you. I'm giving you 2/3 my army of evil house plants.
oh god. there is no one in gchat, and the tweets are so quiet. I’m alone here today, aren’t i? all you assholes are off of work, aren’t you?
“Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it...”
– Douglas Adams (via rainier)
you all fail epically for lack of tweets. I’m going to leave work soon, and blame you for all the stuff I got done today. god I hate you.
Retrospective →
So, my brain is so desperate for a fresh start this year that it has been killing off and ending the plot lines of extra characters from my life in my brain.
So far this week one of my exes was…
and here is what everyone has to look forward to for the nye party http://tinyurl.com/78f6l7
might be greatest webcomic ever. Click through first three to see some great Lost themed ones too. http://tinyurl.com/828c2x
The only saving grace is that my entire office for the most part took off, so I feel like I’m in that episode of the twilight zone.
is accidentally writing porn. lesbian vampire porn, but porn none the less.
god my life is lonely without you fools. Really can’t wait for NYE, or at least till Monday when hopefully someone tweets.
Stupid Internet →
So for some reason I can’t redeem the credit I have to purchase an audio book on string theory, so i decided a short blog instead.
Yesterday continued to be more productive than if I had been at…
Go Vote! →
Go vote for davidkaneda.com in the tumblr awards
It would certainly mean a lot to me!
(and might even get me a new site design)
X-Mas Tales
Friend: trying to teach my mom how to use a digital camera is like trying to teach a cat to fly a jet plane.
me: hilarious with deadly consequences?
Productivity FTW! →
So it is not even noon yet and I’ve already accomplished so much.
I cleaned.
I cleaned out my hard drive.
I made a ton of new folders and finally organized all my loose documents into them. …
The Last Boy on Earth →
— warning the following is an utter piece of crap with a half good diea somewhere in it. Couldn’t ever seem to get it right, so here it goes, as is. Please don’t judge me on this shit — The virus…
This is all well and good but when does the flying spaghetti monster get here?
Review of Pod - Not fucking worth it. Seriously? Give me UZU any day over that mediocre crap. It’s reaffirmed, Steven Starr sucks.
gift to myself for showing up today? Sushi from Pod for lunch! Wew for overpriced fish!
Barump a bump bum? →
Oh god whatever.
I’m going to freaking end it.
I haven’t gotten shit done today at work and some screeching harpy screeched at me for too long. It’s okay, it turns out she’s racist, so at least…
Mike Doughty- True Dreams of Wichita. Live from...
Anyone coming to broomall this week? specifically Thursday?
I swear to god all I want for Christmas is someone’s head on a freaking stick.
oh good, I’m getting fatter. that’s just what this year was missing, me becoming obese and developing a fat person disease.
“North Pole — Starring Viggo Mortensen & Tim Roth
It’s crazy East...”
– The Christmas movies that never were - Time Out Film - Time Out London
Running over an hour late. This week is pointless.
You are all making this short week longer by not saying anything. Come on, be a sport and entertain me.
Happy Holidays Texting
Monster: That button guy book is fitzgerald not faulkner
Me: Makes more sense. Fitzgerald was a wonderful wacky bastard.
Monster: Fuck you.
Me: . . .
Monster: Give me some abuse. For God's sake, I thought for sure I would get it from you.
Me: I miss my monster, so I don't feel like abusing you today.
Monster: I hate you, you tiny speck of dust. How dare you not give me what I want and make me wait.
I am going back to bed now. You think about what you've done.
Me: Listen here, you jolly green moron, you'll take what I give you and you'll like it or so help me god I'll crawl up your ass and eviscerate you from the inside.
xoxo
is really wishing someone loved her enough to make a pot of coffee.
“It’s like you start your morning on a mystical pilgrimage with a magical amulet...”
– -This American Life
Episode #303 - Poultry Slam
Christmas Explanation to my Parents →
And so in the year 2008 came to pass
An economic crisis so bad it caused wall street to crash
Whether Dubya, Iraq, or mortgage sub prime
Your English major daughter did not have a dime
So…
carols have been replaced by G’N’R and Nirvana, and a loud volume. Next up: 45 doves will be delivered for me to bite the heads off of.
“Total Cost of 12 days of Christmas in 2008 $86,609 Up 10.9 percent from last...”
– Slideshow breaking down the prices of the gifts in the song the 12 days of christmas
Need new tumblr feature
Why isn’t there a Tumblr button for things we find horrfying? I will not click a heart or reblog a clown.
Their plan didn’t work, Santa’s too smart for them. Plus she stunk like a rotting puppet corpse. But they are morons, they’ll try again.
I seriously can not start my day until I waste 45 minutes looking at the most pointless shit online.
“Let’s start with a confession: I’m not trustworthy when it comes to...”
– Stephen King: 10 Best Movies of 2008
